When Life Feels Overwhelming: Recognising Your Tipping Point and Finding Support

Life has a way of piling challenges on top of each other until we feel like we're drowning. Perhaps you're caring for an aging parent while trying to manage your own family. Maybe you're facing redundancy, relationship breakdown, or the loss of someone close to you. Or perhaps you're simply feeling overwhelmed by the relentless pace of modern life, wondering if everyone else is coping better than you are.

If you're reading this, chances are you're recognising that familiar feeling—the sense that you're approaching your tipping point, or perhaps you've already reached it. This article is for you: the person who's been strong for everyone else, who's been holding it all together, but who's starting to wonder if you need help yourself.

The Reality of Reaching Your Tipping Point

When Caring Becomes Overwhelming. During the years I spent caring for my father with dementia while transitioning careers and managing my own family responsibilities, I learned firsthand what it means to feel stretched beyond your limits. The sleepless nights, the constant worry, the feeling that you're losing yourself in the process of caring for others—these experiences are more common than you might think.

You might recognise these feelings:

• Waking up already exhausted, dreading the day ahead

• Feeling irritable with people you love, then feeling guilty about it

• Finding yourself crying at unexpected moments

• Feeling like you're failing at everything, despite doing your best

• Wondering who you are beyond your caring responsibilities

The Weight of Multiple Stresses. Life rarely presents us with just one challenge at a time. You might be dealing with:

• Financial pressures alongside relationship difficulties

• Work stress compounded by health concerns

• Grief from recent loss while supporting others through their struggles

• Career uncertainty combined with family responsibilities

The convergence of these stresses can create what feels like a perfect storm, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and questioning your ability to cope.

Recognising the Signs: When Your Mind and Body Are Telling You to Seek Help

Physical Warning Signs. Your body often knows you need help before your mind does:

• Persistent fatigue that sleep doesn't fix

• Frequent headaches or unexplained aches and pains

• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns

• Getting sick more often than usual

• Feeling constantly tense or on edge

Emotional Red Flags

• Feeling numb or disconnected from things you used to enjoy

• Overwhelming anxiety about everyday tasks

• Feeling hopeless about the future

• Struggling to concentrate or make decisions

• Feeling like you're just going through the motions

Social and Relationship Changes

• Withdrawing from friends and family

• Feeling irritable or short-tempered with loved ones

• Avoiding social situations you used to enjoy

• Feeling like nobody understands what you're going through

• Struggling to communicate your needs to others

The Loneliness of Struggle

One of the hardest aspects of feeling overwhelmed is the profound loneliness that often accompanies it. You might feel like you're the only one struggling, that everyone else has their life together while you're barely keeping your head above water.

During my most challenging period, caring for my father while transitioning careers, I felt isolated. Even surrounded by family and colleagues, I sometimes felt like nobody could truly understand the weight I was carrying. The irony wasn't lost on me that I was training to become a therapist while desperately needing support myself.

The Myths That Keep Us Isolated

• "I should be able to handle this on my own"

• "Other people have bigger problems than me"

• "I don't want to be a burden"

• "Asking for help means I'm weak"

• "No one will understand anyway"

These thoughts are normal, but they're also myths that keep us suffering in silence when support is available.

Building Your Support Network: You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Professional Support Options

Counselling and Psychotherapy. Sometimes you need a safe space to process your feelings with someone who's trained to help. A qualified counsellor can provide:

• A non-judgmental space to explore your feelings

• Practical coping strategies

• Help in understanding patterns in your thinking and behaviour

• Support in making difficult decisions

• Tools for managing anxiety and stress

Peer Support Groups. Connecting with others who've faced similar challenges can be incredibly healing:

• Knowing you're not alone in your struggles

• Learning from others' experiences and coping strategies

• Finding practical tips from people who truly understand

• Building new friendships based on mutual understanding

• Reducing the shame and isolation that often accompany difficult times

Listening Advocacy. Sometimes you just need someone to listen without trying to fix or judge:

• Having your experiences truly heard and validated

• Exploring your feelings without pressure to find immediate solutions

• Feeling supported in your own decision-making process

• Having someone advocate for your needs when you feel too overwhelmed to do so yourself

How True North Collective Can Support You

At www.truenorthcollective.co.uk, we understand that seeking help can feel daunting. Our approach recognises that you are the expert on your own life, and we're here to support you in finding your way forward.

Our Services Include:

• Individual counselling and psychotherapy for adults

• Peer support groups for various life challenges

• Multiple opportunities for volunteering and building connections

What Makes Us Different:

We believe that personal experience, when properly integrated with professional training, creates deeper understanding and more authentic connection. Our team combines professional expertise with lived experience of life's challenges, including caring responsibilities, bereavement, career transitions, and the complex emotions that accompany major life changes.

Practical Steps: Building Your Own Support and Resilience

Start Small: Self-Care That Actually Works

When you're overwhelmed, the idea of elaborate self-care routines can feel like another burden. Focus on basics that make a real difference:

Daily Essentials:

• Prioritise sleep, even if it means letting other things slide

• Eat regularly, even if meals are simple

• Take short walks or do gentle movement

• Limit news and social media if they increase your stress

• Practice saying "no" to non-essential demands

Weekly Supports:

• Schedule one activity that brings you joy, even if it's just 30 minutes

• Connect with one person who makes you feel understood

• Spend time in nature, even if it's just sitting in a garden

• Engage in one creative or meaningful activity

Building Your Support Network Gradually

Start With One Connection:

• Identify one person you trust and feel comfortable talking to

• Consider whether you'd benefit from professional support

• Look into local or online support groups related to your situation

• Remember that building support takes time—be patient with the process

Expand Slowly:

• Join one new group or activity when you feel ready

• Consider different types of support for different needs

• Don't feel obligated to share everything with everyone

• Allow relationships to develop naturally

Managing Relationships During Difficult Times

With Family and Friends:

• Be honest about your limitations without feeling guilty

• Ask for specific help rather than hoping people will guess what you need

• Set boundaries around what you can and cannot do

• Remember that some relationships may change, and that's okay

With Professional Supporters:

• Be open about what's working and what isn't

• Don't feel you have to be "the perfect client"

• Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness

• Trust your instincts about whether a particular support feels right for you

Recognising Progress: Small Steps Count

Recovery and building resilience isn't linear. You might have good days followed by difficult ones, and that's completely normal. Progress might look like:

• Sleeping better some nights

• Feeling slightly less anxious in certain situations

• Having the energy to call a friend

• Making it through a difficult day without falling apart

• Feeling moments of hope, even if they're brief

During my father's illness and after his death, progress came in tiny increments. Some days, getting dressed and having a cup of tea felt like major achievements. Other days, I could engage with my work and feel like myself again. Both were valid parts of the journey.

When Crisis Hits: Immediate Support Options

If you're in crisis or having thoughts of self-harm, please reach out immediately:

24/7 Crisis Support:

• Samaritans: 116 123 (free from any phone)

• Crisis Text Line: Text SHOUT to 85258

• NHS 111: For urgent but non-emergency health concerns

• Emergency Services: 999 if you're in immediate danger

Local Crisis Support:

• Crisis Safe Space: Alternative to A&E for urgent mental health needs

• Contact your GP for urgent appointments or Social Prescribing advice

• Many areas have crisis support teams—ask your GP or call NHS 111 for local information

The Journey Forward: You're Not Alone

Seeking support isn't about admitting defeat—it's about recognising your own worth and taking steps to care for yourself with the same compassion you show others. The challenges you're facing are real, your feelings are valid, and support is available.

My journey through caring responsibilities, career change, and bereavement taught me that we're often stronger than we think, but we're not meant to face life's challenges alone. The support I received—from family, friends, professional counsellors, and peer support groups—didn't take away the difficulties, but it made them bearable. More importantly, it helped me grow and find meaning in the struggle.

Your Next Steps

If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider these gentle first steps:

1. Acknowledge where you are: It's okay to admit you're struggling

2. Identify one area where you need support: This might be practical help, emotional support, or professional guidance

3. Take one small action: This could be calling a friend, looking up local support groups, or contacting a counselling service

4. Be patient with yourself: Building support and resilience takes time

Remember, seeking help isn't just about getting through the crisis—it's about learning skills and building connections that will serve you throughout your life. The investment you make in your wellbeing now will pay dividends in your ability to cope with future challenges and to be present for the people and activities that matter to you.

Finding Your Way Forward

At True North Collective, we believe that everyone deserves support during life's difficult times. Whether you're dealing with caring responsibilities, grief, relationship challenges, work stress, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life in general, we're here to help you find your way forward.

Our approach combines professional expertise with genuine understanding of life's challenges. We offer individual counselling, peer support groups, and listening advocacy services, all designed to meet you where you are and support you in moving toward where you want to be.

You don't have to figure this out alone. Support is available, and taking that first step toward getting help is one of the most caring things you can do—for yourself and for those who love you.

Ready to take the next step? Visit www.truenorthcollective.co.uk to learn more about our services and how we can support you on your journey forward. You deserve support, and you don't have to wait until you're in crisis to reach out for help.

You Are Not Alone: Recognising Trauma and Finding Your Way Forward

If you're reading this, you might be wondering whether what you're experiencing could be related to trauma. Maybe you've had moments of overwhelming fear, sudden panic, or times when you feel disconnected from yourself or the world around you. You might struggle with sleep, find it hard to trust others, or feel emotions like shame, guilt, or anger that seem to come out of nowhere. If any of this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone—and there is hope and support available for you.

Recognising the Signs of Trauma

Trauma can result from a single event or from ongoing, repeated experiences. Its effects are real and can show up in many ways, including:

• Reliving the trauma: Flashbacks, upsetting dreams, or feeling as if the event is happening again.

• Avoidance: Steering clear of reminders, places, or conversations about the trauma.

• Negative thoughts and feelings: Persistent fear, guilt, shame, or feeling emotionally numb or detached from others.

• Physical and emotional reactions: Being easily startled, trouble sleeping, irritability, or feeling on edge. You might notice physical symptoms like sweating, rapid heartbeat, or shaking during moments of stress or panic.

If you recognise these symptoms in yourself, it's important to remember that these are common responses to trauma. You are not "weak" or "broken"—your mind and body are doing their best to cope with overwhelming stress.

You Are Not Alone

Many people who have experienced trauma feel isolated, as if no one could possibly understand what they're going through. But countless others have walked a similar path and found healing. Support groups, whether in person or online, can provide a safe space to share your experiences, learn coping skills, and build a sense of community. Connecting with others who truly understand can be incredibly validating and empowering.

Support groups like True North Collective offer survivors the opportunity to connect with others who have shared similar experiences. This peer-based support can be incredibly validating and healing, as survivors no longer feel like they are alone in their experiences.

What Can I Do Right Now? Coping with Panic, Stress, and Dissociation

When panic, extreme stress, or dissociation hits, it can feel overwhelming. Here are simple, evidence-based techniques you can try in the moment:

1. Deep Breathing

Slow, deep breaths can signal to your body that you are safe. Try this:

• Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of 4.

• Hold your breath for a count of 7.

• Exhale gently through your mouth for a count of 8.

• Repeat several times.

2. Grounding Techniques

Grounding brings your attention back to the present moment when anxiety or dissociation pulls you away. Try these:

5-4-3-2-1 Technique:

• Name 5 things you can see

• Name 4 things you can hear

• Name 3 things you can feel (touch)

• Name 2 things you can smell

• Name 1 thing you can taste

Focus on an Object:

• Hold a familiar object (like a stone or key), notice its texture, temperature, and weight. This can help anchor you.

Engage Your Senses:

• Splash cold water on your face, hold an ice cube, or use a scented lotion. These sensory experiences can help bring you back to the here and now.

3. Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation can help ease tension:

• Tense a muscle group (like your fists) for 5 seconds, then release and relax for 10 seconds before moving to another group.

4. Move Your Body

Gentle movement—stretching, walking, or yoga—can help you reconnect with your body and reduce dissociation.

5. Remind Yourself: This Will Pass

Panic, flashbacks, and dissociation are temporary. Remind yourself that these feelings will pass and cannot harm you, even if they feel frightening in the moment.

How Therapy Can Help: The Integrative Person-Centred Approach

Seeking therapy is a powerful step toward healing. Integrative person-centred therapy is especially helpful for trauma because it:

• Puts You at the Centre: Therapy moves at your pace, respecting your autonomy and choices.

• Provides a Safe, Non-Judgmental Space: You can explore your thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or shame.

• Blends Different Approaches: Your therapist may use elements of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), mindfulness, or body-based techniques, tailored to your needs.

• Supports Self-Awareness and Growth: Therapy helps you understand how past experiences affect you now and guides you toward acceptance and positive change.

A trauma-informed, person-centred therapist will work collaboratively with you, helping you build trust, learn coping skills, and process difficult experiences when you are ready. The goal is to empower you, not to push you into anything you're not prepared for.

Finding Support at True North Collective

At True North Collective, we understand that taking the first step toward healing can feel overwhelming. That's why we've created accessible, affordable therapy options designed to meet you where you are on your journey.

Affordable Online Therapy

Our online therapy services are available to anyone, regardless of where you live. You don't need to be local to Keighley to access the support you deserve. Our trauma-informed therapists provide:

• Flexible appointment times to fit your schedule

• Secure, confidential video sessions

• Sliding scale payment options to ensure therapy is affordable

• Specialised trauma support using integrative person-centred approaches

Our Community in Keighley

For those in the Keighley area, we're excited to welcome you to our physical space on Woodville Road. We're currently refurbishing our premises, creating a tranquil environment surrounded by woodland where healing can take root and flourish.

Our local community offers:

• In-person therapy sessions

• Supportive group workshops

• Community activities in our woodland setting

• Opportunities to connect with others on similar healing journeys

• Volunteer possibilities to give back when you're ready

At True North Collective, we believe healing happens not just individually but in community. Whether you join us online or in person, you'll become part of something larger than yourself—a supportive network where you can both receive care and, when you're ready, offer support to others.

You Deserve Support and Healing

If you recognise yourself in these words, know that you are not alone and that healing is possible. The effects of trauma are real, but with the right support and tools, you can regain a sense of safety, connection, and hope.

Whether you start with a simple grounding exercise, reach out to our online therapy services, or visit us in Keighley, you are taking an important step forward—and with True North Collective, you don't have to do it alone.

Contact True North Collective today to learn more about our affordable therapy options and community activities. Your journey toward healing starts with a single step.

Finding Your Way Through the Fog: A Guide to Mental Health Support

Finding Your Way Through the Fog: A Guide to Mental Health Support

We all experience moments when life feels overwhelming. When the weight of our emotions becomes too heavy to carry alone. When we've lost something significant—whether it's a loved one, a relationship, our sense of purpose, or simply the person we thought we were. In these moments, reaching out for support can feel like the most challenging step of all.

The Barriers We Face

As someone who has been counselling in various capacities since 2010, I've witnessed firsthand the numerous barriers that prevent people from seeking help:

• The perception of weakness: Particularly among men, there's often a damaging belief that acknowledging mental health struggles equates to weakness or failure. At True North Collective, we're actively working to dismantle this myth.

• Accessibility issues: Many simply don't know where to find help or how to navigate the complex web of mental health services available.

• The caregiver's dilemma: When you're constantly looking after others, making time for your own wellbeing can feel impossible or even selfish.

• Scepticism: Will therapy really work? Is it worth the investment of time, money, and emotional energy?

• Trust issues: Opening up about your deepest thoughts and feelings requires immense trust—something that doesn't come easily to many of us.

• Practical constraints: Perhaps you can't access a quiet, confidential space for online therapy sessions, making this option seem impossible.

The irony is that many of us—myself included—can recognise the importance of mental health support for others while struggling to apply the same logic to our own lives.

My Own Journey

Despite having worked at Childline, where I learned to listen non-judgementally and build trust with callers, I didn't apply these principles to my own life for years. I knew the transformative power of being truly heard, yet I resisted seeking that same support for myself.

For the past seven years, I've been in and out of therapy while simultaneously advocating for its benefits to others. This may seem contradictory, but it perfectly illustrates how challenging it can be to take that first step—even when you intellectually understand its value.

Beyond Traditional Therapy

Let's be clear: mental health support isn't solely about accessing formal talking therapies through the NHS or private practitioners like myself. While these services are invaluable, they represent just one pathway among many.

Speaking one-to-one about your deepest thoughts and feelings is hard work. It's exhausting (though please don't let me put you off). Sometimes, as was the case for me, you simply don't know how to begin that process.

The powerful healing that comes from talking and listening can manifest in simpler, everyday interactions:

• Workplace connections: Truly listening to a colleague—not just to their words but to their tone, body language, and any changes in behaviour—can provide crucial support.

• Environmental factors: Have you noticed how conversations flow more easily during car journeys? The driver focuses on the road, the passenger gazes at the scenery, and music plays softly in the background. These natural distractions create a relaxed atmosphere where opening up becomes less daunting.

In contrast, face-to-face encounters, especially with new people or in unfamiliar situations, can make vulnerability feel impossible. This is why at True North Collective, we recognise that supporting mental health isn't about offering just one solution—it's about creating multiple pathways to connection and healing.

The Human Need for Connection

We are, at our core, social creatures. To thrive, we need meaningful connections with others—our "tribe" who may not always agree with us but will listen, accept, and support us nonetheless.

Recently, a former colleague approached me with an idea: offering gym-goers an opportunity to talk after their workout sessions. They wondered if this would be considered "therapeutic" or "counselling," and whether it was a good idea at all.

My answer was simple: letting people know you're available for a chat—that you're willing to listen without judgement—can be profoundly impactful. Even if nine out of ten people never take you up on the offer, knowing the option exists is half the battle.

Small Steps Toward Connection

If you're struggling with your mental health, here are some approaches that might feel more accessible than immediately diving into formal therapy:

1. Start with Physical Movement

Physical activity has well-documented benefits for mental health. At True North Collective, we incorporate movement into many of our support strategies because:

• Exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural mood elevators

• Group activities foster a sense of community without the pressure of direct conversation

• Movement gives you something external to focus on while processing internal emotions

Whether it's a brisk walk, a gym session, or joining one of our outdoor activities, movement creates a foundation for wellbeing.

2. Find Your "Side-by-Side" Moments

Those car journey conversations I mentioned earlier work because they involve "side-by-side" communication—talking while engaged in another activity that reduces the intensity of direct interaction.

Similar opportunities include:

• Walking with a friend

• Cooking together

• Working on a shared project

• Participating in a hobby group

These contexts often allow for deeper conversations to emerge organically, without the pressure of sitting face-to-face expressly to "talk about feelings."

3. Start with Structured Settings

For many—especially those unused to discussing emotional matters—structured environments can provide helpful boundaries:

• Support groups centred around specific experiences or challenges

• Community workshops or classes

• Men's sheds and similar community spaces

• Online forums where you can engage at your own pace

These settings offer built-in topics and activities while still creating space for authentic connection.

4. Practice Basic Emotional Literacy

Sometimes the barrier isn't willingness but vocabulary. Many of us—particularly men who've been discouraged from emotional expression—simply lack the language to articulate what we're feeling.

Start by:

• Identifying basic emotions (anger, sadness, fear, joy)

• Noticing physical sensations that accompany different emotional states

• Using simple scales ("On a scale of 1-10, how stressed am I feeling?")

• Journaling brief notes about your emotional state

This foundation makes it easier to communicate with others when you're ready.

5. Leverage Technology Thoughtfully

While social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of isolation, technology also offers helpful tools:

• Mental health apps that provide structured exercises

• Text-based support services for those uncomfortable with voice communication

• Online communities focused on specific challenges

• Video resources that normalise common struggles

These resources can serve as stepping stones toward more direct forms of support.

When You're Ready for More

If and when you feel ready to explore more formal support options, know that there's no single "right" approach. At True North Collective, we offer various pathways:

• One-to-one counselling: Traditional talking therapy in a safe, confidential space

• Group support: Shared experiences that reduce isolation

• Activity-based interventions: From wilderness experiences to creative workshops

• Digital support: For those who prefer or require remote options

• Hybrid approaches: Combining different elements to meet your specific needs

The key is finding what resonates with you—what feels manageable as a first step.

For Those Supporting Others

If you're in a position to support someone struggling with their mental health:

• Create low-pressure opportunities for connection: Invite them to join you in activities without making "talking" the explicit purpose

• Practice active listening: Focus fully on what they're saying without immediately jumping to solutions

• Respect boundaries: Some days they may want to talk, other days not—follow their lead

• Normalise getting help: Share your own experiences with support systems when appropriate

• Offer practical assistance: Sometimes helping with everyday tasks creates space for someone to focus on their wellbeing

Remember that simply letting someone know you're there to listen—without expectation or judgement—can be transformative, even if they rarely take you up on the offer.

The Path Forward

Recovery and growth aren't linear processes. There will be steps forward and backward, moments of clarity and periods of fog. What matters is continuing to move, however slowly, toward connection rather than isolation.

At True North Collective, we've seen countless individuals find their way through seemingly impenetrable darkness. Sometimes it begins with something as simple as showing up to a group activity and saying nothing at all. Other times it starts with a formal counselling session. There is no "correct" entry point.

What I can promise you, from both professional experience and personal journey, is that connection heals. Finding spaces and people who allow you to express your authentic self—your fears, your pain, your hopes—creates the conditions for transformation.

Whether you're currently lost in the fog of depression, navigating the choppy waters of anxiety, processing grief, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself and others, know this: you are not alone, seeking support is not weakness, and there are pathways forward that can work for you.

Taking that first step—whatever form it takes for you—is an act of profound courage. And sometimes, courage doesn't roar. Sometimes, it's the quiet voice saying, "I'll try again tomorrow."

We'll be here when you're ready.

About the author: I've been counselling in various capacities since 2010, from Childline to college settings, private practice, and now as part of True North Collective. My journey with mental health has been both professional and deeply personal, informing my belief that healing happens through connection in all its forms.

The UK Supreme Court Ruling on Biological Sex: Providing Context and Balance

Introduction

The recent landmark ruling by the UK Supreme Court on 16 April 2025 has clarified that the protected characteristic of "sex" under the Equality Act 2010 refers specifically to biological sex, not to acquired gender or legal sex recognised through a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC). This judgment stemmed from the case "For Women Scotland Ltd v The Scottish Ministers," which challenged Scottish Government guidance that included some trans women within the definition of "woman" for the purposes of improving gender representation on public boards.

As someone who previously served as a Deputy Director of HR responsible for policy implementation, I recognise the profound implications this ruling has for workplace policies, training programmes, and governance frameworks across the UK. While I'm no longer in a position where I'd need to implement such changes, I believe it's important to approach this topic with listening, empathy and kindness – values I now bring to my counselling practice.

This article aims to provide context and balance, examining not only the practical implications for employers and HR professionals but also considering the social and political ramifications for those most affected by this ruling.

Legal Clarification and Its Significance

The Court's ruling establishes that the Equality Act distinguishes clearly between "sex" and "gender reassignment" as separate protected characteristics. It confirms that acquiring a GRC does not change a person's biological sex for legal protections under the Act. This provides much-needed legal clarity in an area previously characterised by ambiguity and contested interpretations.

The judgment confirms that sex-based rights, exemptions, and policies—such as positive action initiatives, occupational requirements, and access to single-sex spaces—must be grounded in biological sex rather than legal or acquired gender.

For example, recruitment targets or single-sex facilities designated for women must consider biological females only, not trans women with GRCs.

However, this should not be misconstrued as simply a ruling about "biological gender of women," as some commentary has suggested. The implications extend far beyond that narrow framing, affecting policy implementation across multiple sectors and impacting various stakeholders differently.

Practical Implications for Employers and HR Professionals

Having previously led HR policy development, I understand the challenges organisations now face in implementing this ruling while maintaining inclusive workplaces. The judgment necessitates careful review and potential revision of existing policies to ensure compliance while preserving dignity and respect for all employees.

Organisations must now navigate a dual protection framework: upholding sex-based rights as defined by biological sex, while simultaneously ensuring transgender employees are protected under the separate characteristic of gender reassignment. This balancing act requires both legal precision and human empathy.

For HR professionals and employers, I would recommend the following actions:

Policy Review and Alignment

• Conduct a thorough review of all HR and equality policies, including recruitment practices, dress codes, parental leave provisions, and single-sex facilities arrangements.

• Ensure policies align with the clarified legal definitions while maintaining respect for all employees.

• Consider seeking legal advice on particularly complex or sensitive policy areas.

Training and Development

• Update training materials for staff and management to explain the distinction between "sex" and "gender reassignment" under the Equality Act.

• Equip managers with the necessary skills to handle sensitive conversations empathetically and professionally.

• Emphasise the organisation's commitment to dignity and respect for all employees, regardless of protected characteristics.

Support Systems and Communication

• Strengthen confidential support systems for all employees, including transgender colleagues who may feel particularly vulnerable following this ruling.

• Communicate clearly about the ruling's impact and the organisation's ongoing commitment to inclusion.

• Create safe spaces for dialogue and questions to address concerns respectfully.

Monitoring and Review

• Establish ongoing monitoring processes to assess policy effectiveness and compliance.

• Regularly review the implementation of policies to ensure they achieve their intended outcomes without unintended consequences.

• Be prepared to adapt approaches based on feedback and further legal developments.

The challenge for organisations lies not just in legal compliance but in fostering workplaces where all employees feel valued, respected, and included—despite potentially divergent views on these complex issues.

Social Implications: Understanding Different Perspectives

When I worked in HR, I learned that policy changes affect people differently based on their lived experiences. This ruling is particularly significant because it touches on fundamental aspects of identity and belonging.

For some cisgender individuals, particularly those who hold binary views of gender, the judgment may be seen as a reaffirmation of biological realities and protections for women's sex-based rights. It provides clarity on contentious issues such as access to single-sex spaces or gender representation policies, which some see as necessary safeguards for fairness and safety.

Conversely, for some transgender people and their advocates, the ruling represents a significant setback. By excluding trans women—even those with legal recognition—from the legal definition of "woman" under the Equality Act, the judgment restricts their access to certain rights and protections. This exclusion may exacerbate social and economic inequalities faced by trans individuals and contribute to feelings of marginalisation.

As someone who values listening without judgment and practising empathy, I recognise that both perspectives come from genuine places of concern. The challenge for society lies in acknowledging these differing viewpoints while maintaining respect for individual dignity.

Political Context: Beyond a Simple Binary

This ruling occurs within a wider political debate often characterised as "trans rights versus woke ideology." Such framing, however, oversimplifies a complex issue and risks further polarising discourse.

Right-wing groups and gender-critical feminist organisations have largely celebrated the ruling as a victory for biological sex-based protections. For example, For Women Scotland and supporters such as J.K. Rowling have framed the decision as safeguarding women's rights against perceived encroachments by transgender inclusion policies.

Meanwhile, transgender advocates and many human rights organisations view the ruling as part of a broader backlash against LGBTQ+ rights. Similar legal and political actions are occurring internationally, where trans rights have become a flashpoint in culture wars.

The Court itself cautioned that the ruling should not be seen as a triumph of one group over another, emphasising the need for kindness, empathy, and tolerance values that resonate deeply with my current counselling practice. Yet, the polarised political climate means this judgment will likely not satisfy all parties and may deepen existing societal divisions.

The Importance of Empathy and Balanced Discourse

Throughout my career in HR and now in counselling, I've found that the most productive approach to contentious issues involves listening with empathy rather than rushing to judgment. This ruling affects real people with real lives and identities, and discussions around it should reflect that reality.

The legal clarity provided by this judgment is essential for employers and policymakers, but it also highlights the limits of law in resolving deeply personal and social questions about identity and belonging. No court ruling can fully address the lived experiences of individuals navigating gender identity in a society still grappling with these concepts.

As we discuss and implement this ruling, I believe several principles should guide our approach:

Respect for Individual Dignity

• Recognise that transgender individuals remain deserving of respect, dignity, and protection from discrimination.

• Understand that cisgender women's concerns about sex-based rights also deserve thoughtful consideration.

• Avoid language or actions that dehumanise or dismiss either perspective.

Evidence-Based Discourse

• Base discussions on facts rather than fears or stereotypes.

• Acknowledge the complexities of both biological sex and gender identity.

• Recognise that simplistic narratives often fail to capture the nuanced reality of people's lives.

Collaborative Problem-Solving

• Seek solutions that protect the rights and dignity of all parties where possible.

• Involve diverse voices in policy development, including those most affected by decisions.

• Be willing to revisit approaches that prove harmful or ineffective.

Conclusion

This landmark ruling underscores the challenges we face in balancing competing rights and identities in a diverse society. As someone who has implemented HR policies and now practises counselling, I believe the way forward lies not in seeing this as a battle to be won but as a complex issue requiring ongoing dialogue and mutual respect.

The fact that such protections have had to be legislated reflects the reality that society is not always inclusive or understanding. As divisions grow, it becomes ever more vital to foster dialogue that acknowledges the dignity of all people—cisgender and transgender alike—and to work towards workplaces and communities where everyone feels safe and valued.

This ruling is but one step in a complex journey. It clarifies legal definitions but also calls for ongoing effort to ensure that protections against discrimination are meaningful and that respect for human diversity remains central to our social and political life.

As we navigate these waters, let us remember that behind every policy, every ruling, and every debate are real people whose lives and wellbeing matter. In my experience, listening without judgment, practising empathy, and showing kindness can bridge divides that legal judgments alone cannot address.

References

1. Chamber UK. (2025). UK Supreme Court’s 2025 bombshell biological sex ruling.

2. Garcia Blum, D., & McCarthy, T. P. (2025). Understanding the Implications of the UK Supreme Court’s Ruling. Carr-Ryan Center for Human Rights, Harvard Kennedy School.

3. The New York Times. (2025). U.K. Court Ruling on Trans Women Is Part of Wider Debate on Sex and Gender.

4. FMJ Employment Experts. (2025). Employment experts respond to landmark ruling by UK Supreme Court on definition of a woman.

5. BBC News. (2025). Campaigners warn of Supreme Court ruling impact on trans people.

6. UK Supreme Court. (2025). Judgment For Women Scotland Ltd v The Scottish Ministers.

Peer Support: Real Connection, Real Impact

At True North Collective, we believe in the transformative power of human connection. People who've lived through challenges, who truly understand, and who can empathise without judgement — that's the essence of peer support. It's not about offering advice or diagnosing problems; it's about fostering real connection through shared lived experiences.

But what exactly is peer support? Where does it come from? And how can it positively impact your mental health — whether you're actively in therapy, waiting for services, or simply trying to navigate life's complexities?

Let's explore…

The Origins of Peer Support

Peer support is far from a new concept. It taps into the innate human tendency to support one another, a practice that has existed for centuries. From gathering around fires to sharing stories in places of worship, over kitchen tables, in workplaces, or during social movements, peer support has always been a cornerstone of communal care.

Modern peer support as we recognise it today began to take shape during the 1970s and 1980s. It emerged from mental health survivor and recovery movements as a grassroots response to stigma, exclusion, and dissatisfaction with traditional mental health services. These movements were driven by individuals who felt that formal systems often failed to address their emotional and practical needs.

In its early days, peer support was informal and raw — people came together as equals rather than professionals or patients. The guiding principle was simple yet profound: You are not alone. Through shared experiences, individuals found strength and solidarity.

Today, peer support has evolved into a recognised approach integrated into NHS services, charities, recovery groups, and community organisations like True North Collective. Despite its growth and formalisation, the core of peer support remains unchanged: authentic human connection.

What Exactly Is Peer Support?

At its heart, peer support is about bringing people together who have faced similar challenges — whether those challenges involve mental health struggles, trauma, bereavement, burnout, or major life transitions. It complements professional therapeutic interventions but operates on fundamentally different principles.

Key Features of Peer Support:

Equality: Everyone involved is valued for their lived experience; there are no hierarchies.

Non-clinical approach: Peer support avoids diagnoses, assessments, or treatment plans.

Focus on connection: The emphasis is on mutual understanding rather than fixing problems.

Flexible formats: Peer support can be one-to-one or group-based.

Peer-led facilitation: Sessions are led or co-facilitated by trained peers who have firsthand experience with the issues being discussed.

Unlike therapy — which is led by clinicians trained to explore underlying psychological issues — peer support prioritises mutual respect and shared understanding. It creates a space where individuals can feel heard and validated without needing to justify themselves.

At True North Collective, our peer support groups are held in welcoming and confidential environments. We aim to foster spaces where participants feel safe to express themselves freely. Whether you're sharing your story or simply listening to others, the focus is on creating an atmosphere of respect and belonging.

Why Peer Support Matters

Research has increasingly highlighted the benefits of peer support for mental health. Studies show that connecting with others who share similar experiences can reduce feelings of isolation and improve overall well-being. Peer support also empowers individuals by fostering a sense of agency and resilience through mutual learning and encouragement.

In addition to these emotional benefits, peer support can complement therapy by providing ongoing community-based care while individuals wait for professional services or transition out of therapy. It bridges gaps in formal systems by offering accessible spaces for connection and healing.

Further Resources

For more information about peer support and how it might benefit you:

Join our mailing list (see box in the banner below) for details about up and coming events and programmes. Or subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

Explore Richard Pierce Therapy for insights into therapy options that complement peer support.

Additional resources include Mind (mind.org.uk), Rethink Mental Illness (rethink.org), and the National Survivor User Network (nsun.org.uk).

Peer support reminds us that healing doesn't always come from professionals — sometimes it comes from each other. Through shared understanding and genuine connection, we can navigate life's challenges together.

Building Resilience and Community: The Importance of Role Models and Shared Experiences for Men's Mental Health

The Crisis Facing Young Men Today

In today's rapidly changing world, young men face unprecedented challenges that test their resilience, self-belief, and sense of purpose. Drawing inspiration from Gareth Southgate's thought-provoking Richard Dimbleby Lecture, we at True North Collective (TNC) recognise the critical need for spaces where men can discover their identity, build meaningful connections, and contribute to society in impactful ways.

Southgate's lecture highlighted a deeply concerning trend: young men are increasingly feeling isolated, grappling with their masculinity, and struggling to find their place in society. This crisis is evident across various metrics, including education, employment, and health outcomes.

The Centre for Social Justice's recent report, "Lost Boys", echoes these concerns, describing nothing short of a crisis facing boys and young men across the UK. Their research reveals that young men are falling behind in almost every important metric of societal success. Most alarmingly, suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK – a heartbreaking statistic that underscores the urgent need for intervention and support.

The Digital Age and Its Impact

One of the key challenges identified by both Southgate and contemporary research is the unrelenting impact of social media and digital technology on young people's lives. As Southgate eloquently put it, "Today, young people are bombarded by information at all times of the day from a device that fits neatly into the palm of their hand, and updates by the second. They're targeted with images of the perfect body, the perfect career and the perfect life, a beautifully crafted highlights reel where success appears to be instant and effortless."

This constant exposure to curated perfection has created an environment where young men compare themselves not just to peers in their immediate surroundings, but to idealised versions of success from across the globe. The result is often a deep sense of inadequacy and a fear of failure that can paralyse rather than motivate.

Recent polling cited by Southgate found that the majority of 16-24 year olds believe social media has become more toxic and addictive in the past five years, negatively impacting their mental health, sleep, attention span, and ability to work or study.

The 'Epidemic of Fatherlessness'

Perhaps one of the most striking revelations from the Centre for Social Justice report is what they term an "epidemic of fatherlessness". The report highlights how 2.5 million children in the UK have no father figure at home, noting that boys are more likely now to own a smartphone than to live with their dad.

Southgate reflected on this reality, acknowledging that while having a father figure at home is ideal, it's not the only way for boys to find positive male role models. However, as community centres close, sports facilities become less accessible, and community events dwindle, young men have fewer opportunities to meet traditional role models like coaches, youth workers, and teachers.

In this void, many young men turn to online spaces, searching for direction and meaning. Unfortunately, this often leads them to unhealthy alternatives like excessive gaming, gambling, and pornography, or worse, to toxic influencers who, as Southgate describes, "willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, never showing emotion, and that the world, including women, is against them."

The Power of Failure and Resilience

One of the key messages from Southgate's lecture is the importance of experiencing and overcoming failure. He argues that young boys need to "fail often and learn fast" to build resilience. This process of falling, getting back up, and trying again is crucial for developing the mental fortitude needed to face life's challenges.

"In my opinion," Southgate states, "if we make life too easy for young boys now, we will inevitably make life harder when they grow up to be young men."

At TNC, we embrace this philosophy wholeheartedly. Our programmes and activities are designed to create a safe environment where men can push their boundaries, take risks, and learn from both successes and failures. We believe that it's through these experiences that true growth and resilience are fostered.

Southgate emphasises the difference between "trying and failing" rather than "failing to try". This mindset is at the core of what we do at TNC. We encourage men to step out of their comfort zones, try new things, and learn from every experience.

Building Identity, Connection, and Culture

Southgate outlines three key foundations for building belief and resilience: identity, connection, and culture. Each of these elements is as important to wider society as they were to the England football team under his leadership.

Identity

A crucial aspect of mental health and resilience is having a strong sense of identity. Southgate talks about the importance of understanding "who am I?" and "who are we?" in building both individual and collective identity.

At TNC, we encourage men to explore these questions for themselves. Through our various programmes and activities, men have the opportunity to discover new skills, contribute to meaningful projects, and find their place within a supportive community. This process of self-discovery can be transformative, helping men build a stronger sense of self and purpose.

As Southgate reflected about his time with the England team: "We shared personal stories. We talked about our country, the football legends who came before us and our place in history. By the end, we knew who we were, a proud, diverse, resilient team that stood up for each other and was ready to write our own chapter."

Connection

Southgate emphasises the critical role of connection in building belief and resilience. He states, "No matter how talented you are as an individual, success is impossible without the right people around you". This sentiment resonates deeply with our mission at TNC.

We strive to create a community where men can form authentic connections, share their experiences, and support one another. Through peer support groups, outdoor activities, and volunteering opportunities, we provide multiple avenues for men to build camaraderie and develop a sense of belonging.

Research strongly supports the importance of social connections for mental health. A study by Holt-Lunstad et al. (2010) found that strong social relationships were associated with a 50% increased likelihood of survival. At TNC, we're not just building a community; we're creating a support network that can significantly impact men's wellbeing and longevity.

As Southgate pointed out, "Real connection, the kind that gives you belief and resilience is becoming harder, not easier, to find. You can have millions of followers online and not one person to turn to when you really need help."

Culture

Southgate defines culture simply as "how we do things around here" – made up of hundreds of small behaviours and actions that shape the overall environment.

At TNC, we're committed to creating a culture where values matter: courage, humility, and integrity over selfishness, greed, and arrogance. We believe that the culture we create today will shape the kind of men we become tomorrow.

As Southgate said, "We all have the power to create that culture, small actions at an individual level, ladder up to something far bigger at a societal level. That's how we can make changes in our schools, in our workplaces, in our communities, and yes, in our nation as well."

The Importance of Role Models

Both the Centre for Social Justice report and Southgate's lecture highlight the declining presence of traditional role models in young men's lives. At TNC, we recognise the power of mentorship and role modelling. Our community brings together men from diverse backgrounds and experiences, creating opportunities for organic mentorship relationships to form. We believe that every man has something valuable to offer, whether it's life experience, professional skills, or simply a listening ear.

Southgate's own experiences illustrate the importance of mentors and role models. He speaks of Alan Smith, his youth coach at Crystal Palace, "who wasn't afraid to challenge me, not because he wanted me to fail, but because he wanted me to succeed", and of Stuart Pearce, who supported him after his devastating penalty miss in Euro 96.

Redefining Success

A crucial aspect of building resilience in young men is redefining what success means. As Southgate eloquently argues, even in professional sport, winning a trophy isn't the only marker of success. "If I've learned anything from my life in football," he says, "it's that success is about much more than the final score. It isn't a straight line, and it's not a single moment."

At TNC, we celebrate the journey as much as the destination. We recognise that true success is how you respond in the hardest moments – it's about having the belief and resilience to persevere when things get tough.

Southgate points to examples like Harry Kane, who was released by Arsenal as a youth player but went on to become England's record goal scorer, and Ollie Watkins, who started in non-league football before scoring the winning goal in England's Euro 2024 semi-final against Holland. As Southgate puts it, Watkins was "an overnight success after 20 years".

Join Us in Building Something Meaningful

As Southgate suggests, now is the perfect time to get involved with True North Collective. We're in the exciting phase of building and shaping our community, and we need your help. Whether it's assisting in creating shared spaces for future activities, promoting our services, clearing outdoor spaces, or generating ideas for new initiatives, your contribution is valuable.

At TNC, we welcome you as you are. We value what you can contribute, recognising that everyone has unique skills and experiences to offer. We may not always get it right, but as Southgate says, it's important to try and learn from the challenges, failures, and wins.

In conclusion, True North Collective is more than just a support group or activity centre. We're building a community where men can discover their identity, build resilience, form meaningful connections, and contribute to society in impactful ways. By embracing the principles of trying, failing, learning, and supporting one another, we're creating a space where men can truly thrive.

Join us on this journey. Together, we can build something truly meaningful and make a positive impact on men's mental health and wellbeing.

References:

• Centre for Social Justice. (2024). Lost Boys: The Crisis Facing Boys and Young Men.

• Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: a meta-analytic review. PLoS medicine, 7(7), e1000316.

• Southgate, G. (2025). Richard Dimbleby Lecture. BBC.

Written by Richard Pierce, Director of Counselling and Therapy Services, TNC.

Unravelling My Family Scripts: A Personal Journey Through Psychodynamics and Genealogy

The Mirror of Practice

Within my own counselling practice, I've witnessed a number of transformations as clients courageously explore their childhood memories to unlock past experiences. These journeys into personal history often provide profound insights and positive steps forward for those seeking answers. I've observed how understanding family scripts can liberate clients from patterns they never consciously chose.

In working with a previous client, this pricked my conscience if I routinely invite clients to examine their past, shouldn't I be equally prepared to explore my own? I’ve not done this proactively since my own studies into family systems therapy. This question has become increasingly poignant over the past year, following my dad’s passing. It has marked a transition point—a moment when family history suddenly feels more urgent and precious.

When a close friend's mother passed away recently, it cemented my conviction that understanding our family histories is profoundly important. These narratives help us piece together our place in the world, learn from generations before us, and shape what we aspire to for our futures. The professional has become personal through a deepening recognition of the power of these connections.

The Privilege of Being a Keeper of Stories

Now, my mum stands as the primary living connection to our family's past, with my elder sister holding significant pieces of our shared history as well. Their stories and memories represent an irreplaceable archive—one that, if not gathered and preserved, could disappear forever. This realisation has motivated me to begin documenting our family narrative whilst these precious resources remain accessible.

As a therapist, I'm acutely aware of how family scripts—those unwritten rules, expectations, and patterns of behaviour passed through generations—influence how we perceive ourselves and navigate relationships. They operate beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, shaping our decisions and reactions in subtle yet powerful ways (Duke et al., 2008). I hope I have in turn helped to guide clients through the process of identifying and understanding these scripts, yet I've only recently begun applying this framework to my own life.

Professional Insight, Personal Application

Psychodynamic approaches have always formed a part of my practice—the understanding that our early family experiences fundamentally shape who we become. Recent research into intergenerational trauma suggests these experiences transmit across generations through both psychological mechanisms and potentially even biological factors (Fossion et al., 2015).

In my counselling work, I've seen how understanding family background provides clients with valuable context for their present experiences. When clients gain insights into their family history, they often discover both challenges and strengths that have been passed down through generations. This professional experience has sparked my curiosity about my own family's journey through time. What positive traditions have been maintained in our family? What resilience and wisdom have previous generations demonstrated that might still offer guidance today?

Beginning the Journey of Discovery

For many clients, their genealogical journey begins modestly—perhaps with a casual conversation about family history or an old photograph that sparks curiosity. Initially, these explorations often focus on basic information: names, dates, and occupations of ancestors. However, these investigations may evolve into something far richer and more meaningful.

Clients can discover stories of resilience during challenging historical periods, tales of romance that crossed social boundaries, accounts of migrations driven by economic necessity, and anecdotes revealing characteristic family traits that they recognise in themselves today. This recognition of patterns and traits can be particularly illuminating for clients seeking to understand themselves better.

What makes genealogical exploration particularly valuable is the multiple perspectives it incorporates. When clients engage with different family members, they encounter varied memories and interpretations of shared experiences. These differing viewpoints often fill gaps in understanding and create a more nuanced picture of family history—a tapestry woven from documented facts, personal memories, and family folklore.

While family trees and timelines provide important frameworks, equally valuable are the spontaneous revelations that emerge from photographs, heirlooms, or seemingly unrelated conversations. Through working with clients interested in their family histories, I've come to appreciate that genealogical research is as much about patience and presence as it is about documentation and verification.

The Therapeutic Value of Family History

The Therapeutic Benefits of Family History Exploration

When clients engage in exploring their family histories, they may experience significant therapeutic benefits. These explorations frequently lead to moments of revelation and healing that can transform their self-understanding and relationships.

Understanding the origins of family patterns can provide valuable context for current behaviours. For example, uncovering stories of resilience—learning about ancestors who rebuilt lives after significant losses, overcame discrimination, or adapted to new cultures—can strengthen a client's sense of self-efficacy. Research has shown that connecting to family narratives of perseverance can bolster psychological resilience (Duke et al., 2008). These narratives of resilience become resources clients can draw upon during their own challenging times.

The Power of Memory Anchors in Family History Exploration

From a practical perspective, I've witnessed firsthand how powerful visual anchors can be in accessing family memories. When my father and aunt were both living with dementia, I discovered that looking through old photographs with them created remarkable moments of connection. While they struggled to remember what had happened just ten minutes earlier—an experience that was increasingly frustrating and frightening for them both—these visual portals to the past triggered vivid recollections.

A faded photograph of a childhood home or a family gathering would suddenly illuminate their faces with recognition. They would share detailed stories about events that had occurred decades earlier, often with remarkable clarity and emotion. These moments created a bridge between us, allowing them to engage more fully in the present through their connection to the past—much like how hearing a favourite teenage song can transport any of us back to a specific memory with extraordinary detail.

For clients exploring their family histories, this experience suggests several practical approaches:

• Using visual prompts like photographs, heirlooms, or familiar locations to trigger memories when interviewing older family members

• Asking specific, open-ended questions about the people and places in these visual anchors

• Creating timelines that place family events in historical context

• Documenting stories through recordings, journals, or digital archives

• Exploring family patterns with patience and compassion, recognizing that memory works in non-linear ways

The therapeutic value lies not in constructing a perfect chronological history, but in the moments of connection and understanding that emerge. These explorations can lead to greater empathy for older generations, improved family relationships across generations, and a more nuanced appreciation of the complex forces that have shaped one's family identity across time.

Building Bridges Through Shared History

Perhaps the most unexpected benefit of this genealogical exploration has been its effect on my current family relationships. As I've engaged my mother and sister in this project, our connections have deepened. There's something profoundly bonding about exploring our shared past together.

Our conversations have transcended the usual topics of daily life, opening doors to discussions we might never have had otherwise—about values that have been passed down through generations, about the emotional legacies we've inherited, about the ways in which our family has adapted to societal changes over time.

These discussions haven't always been comfortable. We've encountered family secrets, disagreements about how events transpired, and painful memories that had been suppressed. But navigating these challenges together has strengthened our relationships. We've practiced listening to each other's perspectives, holding space for difficult emotions, and collaboratively making sense of our shared history.

Creating a Legacy for Future Generations

As my project has evolved, I've become increasingly aware that I'm creating something that will outlast me—a gift for my nieces that connects them to their roots. In an era characterised by mobility, technological change, and rapid social transformation, understanding where one comes from can provide a sense of stability and continuity.

My hope is that by documenting our family history, I'm providing my nieces with resources that will help them navigate their own lives with greater awareness and compassion. Perhaps understanding the patterns that have shaped our family will help them make more conscious choices about which traditions to maintain and which to transform. Perhaps knowing the challenges their ancestors overcame will strengthen their resilience when facing their own difficulties.

This aspect of the project has given it a sense of purpose that transcends personal curiosity. I'm not just exploring the past; I'm creating a bridge between generations—preserving stories that might otherwise be lost and making them accessible to those who will come after me.

Practical Approaches to Family Exploration

For those inspired to embark on their own genealogical journeys, I offer some approaches that have proved valuable in my experience:

1. Begin with the living: Start by interviewing older family members. Their memories are precious resources that can't be replaced once they're gone. Record these conversations if possible, both to preserve the information and to capture the unique cadence and character of their voices.

2. Use prompts: Sometimes direct questions about family history yield limited responses. Instead, try using photographs, heirlooms, or locations as prompts. "Tell me about this photograph" or "What do you remember about this house?" can elicit rich narratives.

3. Create a visual representation: Developing a family tree or timeline can provide structure for your exploration and help identify gaps in your knowledge. It can also reveal patterns that might not be apparent from individual stories.

4. Contextualise personal stories: Research the historical events and social conditions that shaped your ancestors' lives. Understanding the broader context can provide insight into their choices and experiences.

5. Acknowledge multiple perspectives: Different family members may have divergent memories or interpretations of the same events. Rather than seeking a single "correct" version, value these differences as representing the complexity of family experience.

6. Be gentle with secrets: Family histories often contain secrets—some protective, others harmful. Approach these with sensitivity, recognising that decisions about what to reveal should be made thoughtfully.

7. Notice patterns: Look for recurring themes, traits, or relationships across generations. These patterns can reveal family scripts that may continue to influence current generations.

8. Create a shareable record: Consider how you'll preserve and share what you learn. This might take the form of a written narrative, a digital archive, a physical album, or regular family storytelling sessions.

A Journey Without End

What began as a simple inquiry into my family history will I hope evolve into an ongoing practice of discovery and integration.

Understanding our family scripts is not a project to be completed but a process to be engaged with throughout our lives. As we grow and change, we bring new perspectives to old stories. As we face new challenges, we may find new relevance in ancestral experiences.

Exploring the past isn't about dwelling in history but about liberating ourselves to move forward with greater awareness and choice.

References

Duke, M.P., Lazarus, A. and Fivush, R. (2008). Knowledge of family history as a clinically useful index of psychological well-being and prognosis: A brief report. Psychotherapy Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 45(2), pp.268-272.

Fivush, R., Bohanek, J.G. and Zaman, W. (2011). Personal and intergenerational narratives in relation to adolescents' well‐being. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 2011(131), pp.45-57.

Fossion, P., Leys, C., Vandeleur, C., Kempenaers, C., Braun, S., Verbanck, P. and Linkowski, P. (2015). Transgenerational transmission of trauma in families of Holocaust survivors: The consequences of extreme family functioning on resilience, sense of coherence, anxiety and depression. Journal of Affective Disorders, 171, pp.48-53.

Healthline. (n.d.). Intergenerational Trauma: What It Is and How to Heal. [online] Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/intergenerational-trauma [Accessed 18 Mar. 2025].

Breaking the Silence: Why Men's Mental Health Needs Urgent Attention and How True North Collective Is Bridging the Gap

The Hidden Crisis of Male Mental Health

Let's be honest - talking about our feelings isn't something most blokes wake up excited to do. For many men, the mere suggestion of discussing mental health can feel about as comfortable as a hedgehog in a balloon factory. Yet beneath this reluctance lies a crisis that's claiming far too many lives.

Mental health has long been a topic shrouded in stigma, and for men, these conversations often feel like navigating a minefield blindfolded. As statistics reveal the disturbing reality of men's mental health struggles, particularly concerning suicide rates, it becomes clear that traditional mental health services haven't quite hit the mark for many of us.

In this blog, I'll dive into the troubling statistics around male suicide, explore why existing services often don't quite fit the bill, and introduce how our community interest company, True North Collective in Keighley, is offering a fresh approach to supporting men's mental wellbeing.

The Crisis: Shocking Statistics on Male Mental Health

The numbers paint a picture that's impossible to ignore, especially here in the UK:

• Suicide Rates: Men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women. In 2020, men accounted for three-quarters of registered suicide deaths in the UK..

• Prevalence: According to Mental Health UK, 12.5% of men in England have a mental health disorder.

• Underreporting: We're not great at asking for help, are we? Just 36% of all NHS referrals for psychological therapies are for men.

• Mental Health Impact: A whopping 77% of men reported experiencing symptoms of common mental health conditions such as anxiety, stress, or depression.

• Stigma: 52% of men would worry about taking time off work for mental health-related reasons, while 46% would feel embarrassed or ashamed to tell their employer. 

Why Traditional Mental Health Services Miss the Mark for Many Men

While professional mental health services are brilliant for many people, they often don't quite hit the spot for men. The traditional approach to therapy sometimes overlooks some crucial factors specific to male mental health:

• Stigma and Perceptions of Masculinity: Many of us feel pressure to appear strong and self-sufficient. "Man up" and "boys don't cry" aren't just phrases – they're cultural programming that can make asking for help feel like admitting defeat³.

• The Lack of Male-Focused Services: Sitting in a room discussing our deepest emotions isn't everyone's cup of tea (we do, do this too though). Many men feel they need more practical, action-oriented solutions.

• Long Waiting Lists and Inaccessibility: Getting an NHS appointment is like trying to buy Oasis reunion tickets – you'll spend hours in a virtual queue only to be told "Sorry, nothing available" at the end. With long waiting lists and limited access to affordable therapy, men who are already reluctant to seek help are often left high and dry.

• Over-medication Rather Than Real Solutions: In some cases, traditional services rely heavily on medication. Meanwhile, men are more likely to use alcohol or drugs to cope with mental health issues, with 8.7% of men being alcohol dependent compared to 3.3% of women.

How True North Collective Bridges the Gap

Here at True North Collective, based on Woodville Road in Keighley, we believe men's mental health deserves a tailored, holistic, and supportive approach. By offering a range of services and opportunities, we aim to tackle the barriers that prevent many men from accessing the help they need.

Affordable and Accessible Therapy Services

We understand that affordability is a major concern when it comes to seeking help. That's why we offer a sliding scale fee for therapy, ranging from £15 to £40 per session. This pricing makes therapy more accessible, especially for those watching the pennies. Most importantly, by cutting local waiting lists, we're ensuring that men don't have to wait weeks or months to get the help they need. 

Volunteering Opportunities for Empowerment

One of the most powerful ways to support mental wellbeing is by creating opportunities for men to feel useful and part of something bigger. We provide volunteering opportunities for men to help develop our site and services.

Whether you're a DIY god or more of a "I've just put six holes in the wall trying to hang a picture" kind of chap, there's something enormously satisfying about building something tangible.

A Non-Pressure Environment: Fire Pit Evenings

Not every conversation has to be about deep, heavy topics. That's why we're going to be promoting regular Friday fire pit evenings – informal gatherings where men can relax, share jokes, and engage in light-hearted conversations.

There's something primal about gathering around a fire that seems to loosen tongues and lighten the load. We've found that more meaningful conversations often happen naturally when no one feels pressured to "share their feelings." Plus, there's always that one bloke who insists he's a "fire expert" but somehow can't get the thing lit without using half a bottle of lighter fluid!

Humour, Fun, and Camaraderie

Laughter really can be the best medicine (along with, you know, actual medicine when you need it). We recognise that humour can be a powerful form of therapy, often breaking down barriers that formal settings might create.

At True North Collective, we don't take ourselves too seriously. Yes, we're dealing with serious issues, but who says the journey to better mental health can't include a few laughs along the way? After all, sometimes the most therapeutic thing is having a good chuckle with mates who get it.

Physical and Mental Activities

Mental health isn't just about talking. We will be offering survival walks in stunning Yorkshire countryside, digital inclusion and coding classes, debt counselling, outdoor cooking, forestry skills, and more. But you can also help by volunteering and developing our programmes of activity - we're keen to use the skills and talents of our local community. These activities reduce isolation and foster a sense of belonging. And yes, being terrible at something new together is a surprisingly effective bonding experience!

Why This Model Works: A Holistic Approach to Mental Health

The traditional therapy model isn't a one-size-fits-all solution, especially when it comes to men's mental health. Many men benefit more from a community-based, holistic approach that combines emotional support, physical activity, and social connections.

• Reducing Isolation: Men often feel isolated in their struggles. By providing group activities like the fire pit evenings and volunteering opportunities, we help foster social connections, which is a key part of mental health recovery.

• Building Emotional Resilience: The combination of physical activities and mental support helps men build emotional resilience. Physical activities release endorphins, improving mood, while socialising and engaging in positive environments can counteract feelings of loneliness and despair.

• Challenging the Stigma: Our approach allows men to access support without the need to immediately discuss their deepest emotions. This reduces the barrier that many men face when seeking therapy and helps them feel more comfortable starting their mental health journey.

Creating a New Narrative for Men's Mental Health

The statistics surrounding male suicide and mental health are a clear indication that we need to rethink how we approach men's mental health services. Traditional methods have their place, but they often don't resonate with the needs of many men.

True North Collective seeks to bridge this gap by offering a multi-faceted approach that incorporates both mental and physical support, affordability, and community-building. We are here to provide the tools and support that men need to thrive, not just survive.

We believe that by combining practical support, humour, and a non-judgmental space, we can begin to change the narrative surrounding men's mental health and ensure that more men feel empowered to take control of their mental wellbeing.

Call to Action

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, don't wait. Join us at True North Collective in creating a new path forward for men's mental health. Whether through therapy, volunteering, or simply attending one of our fire pit evenings, we are here to help. You don't have to go through this alone.

Pop in to see us on Woodville Road in Keighley (Wednesdays’ or Fridays are best), or get in touch to find out more about our services and activities. Remember, taking that first step is often the hardest part – but we promise you'll find no judgment here, just a warm welcome and possibly a dodgy cup of tea or coffee.

Author: Richard Pierce, Director of Counselling & Therapy Services (TNC)

References:

1. Mind. (2019). Get it off your chest: men's mental health 10 years on. Retrieved from https://www.mind.org.uk/media/6771/get-it-off-your-chest_a4_final.pdf

2. Cardiff and Vale Action for Mental Health. (2023). Men's Mental Health Month 2023. Retrieved from https://www.cavamh.org.uk/news/mens-mental-health-month-2023/

3. Counselling Directory. (2024). Key Statistics about Men and Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/men-and-mental-health-stats.html

4. Priory Group. (n.d.). Men's Mental Health: Why 40% of men won't talk about it. Retrieved from https://www.priorygroup.com/blog/40-of-men-wont-talk-to-anyone-about-their-mental-health

5. Mental Health Foundation. (2022). Men and women: statistics. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/statistics/men-women-statistics

6. MindWise Innovations. (2023). A Critical Look at Men's Mental Health. Retrieved from https://mindwise.org/blog/mental-health/a-critical-look-at-mens-mental-health/

How to manage your energy levels when grieving or living with chronic illness

Do you sometimes beat yourself up or feel guilty or ashamed when you feel tired or low on energy and can't do the things you feel you should be doing?

Days when getting out of bed and showering or doing household chores simply feels like too much – leaving you feeling bad about yourself and giving rise to a hectoring inner critic that pipes up with negative comments.

This is very common in clients who have experienced a bereavement or who are living with chronic illness or who have caring responsibilities that deplete their reserves.

Time after time in session I listen to clients list all they have to deal with and then end with a 'But why can't I just go to the gym? I'm SO lazy...' or 'I know I should say no, and I didn't feel like it at all, but I did it, anyway because I felt bad and that I'd let everyone down, including me.'

Silence the negativity and think of spoons...

The Spoon Theory

The Spoon Theory is a metaphor devised by writer Christine Miserandino in 2003 to illustrate how people living with conditions like lupus and multiple sclerosis (MS) have to manage fluctuating energy levels. But it can also be applied to people living with everything from cancer to dementia plus those who are grieving after the death of a loved one and to anyone with caring responsibilities, too.

It goes something like this...

Imagine you have 12 spoons of energy to see you through the day. Some days, getting out of bed, showering, getting dressed, doing your hair and getting out of the house will take 3 spoonfuls of energy. Other days, when you're living with brain fog, pain and fatigue or an overwhelming wave of grief, those initial tasks will take 8 spoons:

• Getting out of bed = 2 spoons

• Showering = 2 spoons

• Dressing = 1 spoon

• Doing your hair/make-up/shaving = 1 spoon

• Leaving the house/remembering keys/locking up/getting in the car or travelling to public transport = 2 spoons

This leaves you with just 4 spoonfuls of energy to see you through the day.

That's really not much, is it? If you're caring for others or working, that's barely achievable. 

What most people do is 'borrow' a few spoonfuls from the next day. Which means they're living in a permanent deficit. This is where unhelpful coping mechanisms come in: poor food choices, consuming excess alcohol, mindless scrolling online, lack of sleep hygiene, i.e. dozing on the sofa after dinner; substance misuse.

Often this leads to low mood, depression, anxiety and a lowering of self esteem if left unchecked over a long period of time.

So, instead, when you're feeling like you can't cope with what you feel might be 'the basics' of life, give yourself a break and ask yourself:

How many spoons do I have today?

Then use them wisely.

And if that means leaving the household chores, cancelling plans or not washing your hair, so be it.

Article by Kay Thomas (one of TNC online therapists)

True North or Bust

I'm fine, I’m grand, I’m absolutely great,
Just crying in Aldi’s new self-checkout lane.
I lift big weights, I don’t lift the phone,
Tough as old boots but brittle as bone.

They say "chin up," but my "chin's down,"
Drowning my demons with a lukewarm frown.
I’m a proper bloke, a real man's man,
Ignoring the fire while the house goes bang.

Boys don’t cry, but they probably should,
Boys don’t talk, though it’d do ‘em good.
Boys get lost, but there’s maps and such—
True North or bust! True North or bust!

Sat in the shed with my silent rage,
Building a birdhouse, forgetting my age.
The dog understands but the wife does not,
I mowed the lawn but the sadness stayed put.

DIY therapy, Youtube sage,
Googled “inner peace,” got “carb intake.”
I should get help, but lads don’t do that,
So I’ll just join a gym and never go back.

Boys don’t cry, but they probably should,
Boys don’t talk, though it’d do ‘em good.
Boys get stuck, but there’s ways to adjust—
Follow the stars, True North or bust!"

Pints don’t listen, football won’t care,
A punchline’s fine, but the punchline’s where?
So I rang up TNC, said, “Look, mate, I’m stuck,”
They said, “Cup o’ tea?” and that was enough.

I ain't broken, I ain't weak,
But turns out, mate, I do need sleep.
A bloke alone is a heavy load,
But share the weight, and off you go.

Boys don’t cry? Well, maybe they should.
Boys don’t talk? Then let’s make it good.
Boys drift off, but they’re never alone—
True North will guide you home.

Breaking the Silence: A Personal and Professional Perspective on Integrative Therapy

As both a therapist and someone who has themselves reluctantly sought mental health support, I hope and can bring a unique perspective to the conversation about therapeutic approaches. My journey from NHS Management to becoming a therapist, catalysed for having to halt my career by caring for my father through his dementia until his passing last year, has deeply informed my understanding of the transformative power of integrative therapy.

Today mental health concerns are increasingly prevalent, yet many individuals remain hesitant to seek professional help. As a 52-year-old male therapist, I've experienced firsthand the statistics that Blom (2025) highlights - that men, particularly those aged 25-54, are significantly less likely to seek mental health support compared to women. The study found that 40% of men with symptoms of depression felt they had no need for mental healthcare, compared to only 25% of women (Blom, 2025).

My own experience with NHS talking therapy, whilst well-intentioned, left me frustrated with the constant "how do you feel?" questions when I wasn't entirely sure of my feelings, and the homework assignments of tracking triggering situations in notebooks felt more burdensome than helpful. This experience shaped my approach to integrative therapy, which combines person-centred, psychodynamic, and relational approaches to offer a more nuanced and effective solution for those sceptical of traditional therapeutic methods (Cooper, 2021).

What I've found, both personally and professionally, is that authentic listening and genuine human connection often prove more valuable than rigid therapeutic frameworks. Whilst I don't dismiss behavioural approaches or strict person-centred methods, my practice is built on the foundation of being present and responsive in a way that acknowledges the unique complexity of each individual's experience. This aligns with the American Psychological Association's (2012) recognition that flexibility and adaptability in therapeutic approaches are crucial for effective treatment.

For men who may be hesitant to engage in therapy, as I once was, integrative approaches can offer a more accessible entry point. By incorporating elements of psychodynamic therapy, which explores unconscious processes and early life experiences, we can help men gain deeper insights into the root causes of their struggles (Talk to Evolve Counselling, 2024). My personal experience of navigating career change and grief whilst caring for my father has given me a profound understanding of the challenges men face in expressing vulnerability and seeking support.

The person-centred aspect of integrative therapy emphasises empathy, unconditional positive regard, and authenticity in the therapeutic relationship. This non-judgmental environment, which I strive to create in every session, helps clients feel more comfortable opening up about their experiences and emotions, fostering a sense of trust and safety that is crucial for effective therapy (UK Council for Psychotherapy, n.d.).

Research consistently supports the efficacy of this approach. A comprehensive meta-analysis by Cuijpers et al. (2013) found that psychotherapy is at least as effective as medication in addressing most mental health concerns, with the added benefit of longer-lasting effects and a lower risk of relapse after treatment ends. For those concerned about the severity of their issues, as I once was, it's worth noting that studies have demonstrated that psychotherapy can be even more effective for individuals with high-severity depression compared to those with low-severity symptoms (Cuijpers et al., 2013).

Within my practice, I recognise that traditional therapeutic approaches don't resonate with everyone. My personal journey through career transition, caregiving, and grief has taught me the importance of meeting clients where they are, rather than forcing them into predetermined therapeutic frameworks. This understanding shapes my integrative approach, which draws from various modalities whilst maintaining a focus on authentic human connection and genuine understanding.

References

• American Psychological Association (2012) 'Resolution on the Recognition of Psychotherapy Effectiveness', Available at: https://www.apa.org/about/policy/resolution-psychotherapy (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Blom, S. (2025) 'Men's greater reluctance to seek mental healthcare', University of Gothenburg, Available at: https://www.gu.se/en/news/mens-greater-reluctance-to-seek-mental-healthcare (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Cooper, M. (2021) 'How to Explain Integrative Practices: A Directional Account', Available at: https://mick-cooper.squarespace.com/new-blog/2021/4/10/how-to-explain-integrative-practices-a-directional-account (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• Cuijpers, P., et al. (2013) 'The efficacy of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy in treating depressive and anxiety disorders: a meta-analysis of direct comparisons', World Psychiatry, 12(2), pp. 137-148.

• Talk to Evolve Counselling (2024) 'Exploring the Benefits of Integrative Counselling: A Holistic Approach to Mental Health', Available at: https://www.talktoevolve.com/post/exploring-the-benefits-of-integrative-counselling-a-holistic-approach-to-mental-health (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

• UK Council for Psychotherapy (n.d.) 'Psychotherapy evidence', Available at: https://www.psychotherapy.org.uk/policy-and-research/research/psychotherapy-evidence/ (Accessed: 17 February 2025).

Understanding Your Attachment Style: A Guide to Relationships and Mental Health

Attachment styles play a crucial role in shaping our relationships and overall mental well-being. This handout will provide you with an overview of attachment theory, the different attachment styles, their impact on relationships and mental health, and recommendations for further exploration.

What are Attachment Styles?

Attachment styles refer to patterns of bonding that people learn as children and carry into their adult relationships. These styles influence how we perceive and deal with emotional intimacy, communicate our needs, respond to conflict, and form expectations about our partners and relationships.

The Four Attachment Styles

1. Secure Attachment

• Comfortable with intimacy and independence

• Able to balance dependence and autonomy in relationships

• Positive view of self and others

2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment (Anxious in children)

• Craves intimacy and can be overly dependent

• May be demanding in relationships

• Fears rejection and abandonment

3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment (Avoidant in children)

• Values independence highly

• May appear detached or uninterested in close relationships

• Strong sense of self-sufficiency

4. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment (Disorganised in children)

• Desires close relationships but fears vulnerability

• May behave unpredictably due to internal conflict

• Struggles with trusting others

How Attachment Styles Present in Relationships

Secure Attachment

• Comfortable with closeness and independence

• Effective communication of emotions and needs

• Ability to listen and understand partner's needs

• Positive expectations about relationships

• Constructive approach to conflict resolution

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

• Intense desire for closeness and intimacy

• Fear of abandonment and rejection

• May appear clingy or demanding

• Hypervigilant to signs of distance or withdrawal

• Tendency to seek constant reassurance

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

• Discomfort with emotional intimacy

• Preference for independence and self-reliance

• May appear emotionally distant or unavailable

• Difficulty expressing feelings or needs

• Tendency to withdraw during conflicts

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

• Conflicting desires for intimacy and independence

• Fear of both closeness and abandonment

• Unpredictable behaviour in relationships

• Difficulty trusting partners

• May alternate between clingy and distant behaviours

Impact on Relationships and Mental Health

Positive Impacts

• Secure attachment promotes healthy, stable relationships

• Understanding your attachment style can lead to personal growth

• Awareness of attachment patterns can improve communication

Potential Challenges

• Insecure attachment styles may lead to relationship difficulties

• Anxious and avoidant styles can contribute to emotional distress

• Unresolved attachment issues may impact mental health and self-esteem

Origins of Attachment Theory

Attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby in the 1950s and further expanded by Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Bowlby proposed that early childhood experiences with caregivers form the basis for how individuals approach relationships throughout their lives. Ainsworth's research, including the famous "Strange Situation" experiment, helped identify and classify different attachment styles in children.

Attachment Styles in Adulthood

In the late 1980s, Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver extended attachment theory to adult romantic relationships. They found that attachment patterns observed in childhood often persist into adulthood, influencing how individuals form and maintain romantic partnerships.

Improving Your Attachment Style

While attachment styles are formed early in life, they are not fixed. With self-awareness and effort, it is possible to develop a more secure attachment style:

1. Recognise your attachment pattern and its impact on your relationships

2. Practice self-reflection and emotional awareness

3. Communicate openly and honestly with partners about your needs and fears

4. Seek professional help, such as attachment-based psychotherapy, if needed

5. Work on building self-esteem and a positive self-image

6. Learn to balance independence and intimacy in relationships

Conclusion

Understanding your attachment style can provide valuable insights into your relationship patterns and emotional responses. By recognising these patterns, you can work towards developing more secure attachments and improving your overall mental health and relationship satisfaction.

Recommended Further Reading

1. Bowlby, J., 1988. A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.

2. Levine, A. and Heller, R., 2012. Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find-and keep-love. New York: Penguin.

3. Johnson, S.M., 2008. Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. New York: Little, Brown Spark.

4. Siegel, D.J. and Hartzell, M., 2003. Parenting from the inside out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive. New York: Penguin.

5. Wallin, D.J., 2007. Attachment in psychotherapy. New York: Guilford Press.

6. Mikulincer, M. and Shaver, P.R., 2007. Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. New York: Guilford Press.

True North Collective: Supporting Our Local Community in Keighley

In West Yorkshire, True North Collective (TNC) is making a meaningful difference in community support. Founded by a dedicated team of professionals, the organisation offers targeted programs to help individuals facing various challenges.

Supporting Our Community

TNC recognises that mental health, personal development, and community well-being are interconnected. Led by directors Pawel Kosinski, David Wootton and Treasurer Sue Small, the organisation combines professional expertise from therapy, digital innovation, financial guidance, and community leadership.

Three Key Initiatives

1. Compassion Collective: Mental Health Support

The Compassion Collective provides counselling and support for men and other groups often underserved by traditional mental health services. Through subsidised counselling, sound therapy workshops, and pain management sessions, TNC creates a supportive environment for individuals to address their mental health needs.

2. Empower Collective: Skills Development

Responding to rapid technological changes, the Empower Collective offers practical workshops in financial management, digital literacy, and career development.

3. Thrive Collective: Wellness Through Nature

The Thrive Collective takes a unique approach to wellness, offering guided walking sessions and community fire-pit evenings. By combining physical activity, mindfulness, and social connection, participants discover new ways to build resilience and well-being.

A Comprehensive Approach

TNC is designing its programs to interconnect, ensuring participants have ongoing support and growth opportunities. The organisation focuses on inclusivity, welcoming individuals from diverse backgrounds, with a particular emphasis on supporting marginalised groups.

Community Partnerships

TNC is keen to link with likeminded organisations and is part of a new and exciting environmental and enterprise community in the heart of Keighley. The organisation is committed to creating practical, accessible support for community members.

Get Involved

Learn more about True North Collective at www.truenorthcollective.co.uk, Email: info@truenorthcollective.co.uk or visit the Woodville Activity Centre, Woodville Road, Keighley, BD20 6JA.

At True North Collective, we believe in supporting individuals to build stronger, more connected communities.

Finding peace in a greasy spoom

Finding Peace in a Greasy Spoon

Sitting here in this corner café, waiting for my ancient Volvo to get fixed, and it hits me - there's something special about these places. Not the fancy spots with names I can't pronounce, just your regular café where the coffee's decent and nobody minds if you nurse it for an hour.

Got me thinking about how we're all searching for some kind of peace these days, aren't we? Some people shell out fortunes for fancy retreats, when sometimes all you need is a quiet corner and a brew.

The thing about cafés is they're like a buffer zone between being alone and being social. You can sit here, watching life happen around you - the old couple sharing their crossword, students with their laptops, workers grabbing a quick sarnie. Nobody bothers you, but you're not exactly alone either. It's like being alone together, if that makes sense.

And there's something about being in these spaces that lets your mind settle. Maybe it's the background chatter, or the smell of toast, or just watching the steam rise from your cup. Your thoughts can wander without getting lost, if you know what I mean.

Sometimes the most profound conversations happen over a simple cup of coffee. Not in some sterile room with certificates on the walls (we provide that as well btw), but in places where people feel at home. Places where you can just... be.

That's why I've been mulling over something. What if we could create these moments on purpose? Not therapy sessions exactly, but morning meetups. Just coffee, maybe some breakfast, and space to breathe. No pressure to pour your heart out, no awkward group sharing unless you fancy it. Just a chance to experience this kind of peaceful company with others who might need it.

It's funny how the simple things - a decent brew, a bit of people-watching, the morning light through steamy windows - can sometimes do more for your head than all the self-help books in the world. There's healing in the ordinary, isn't there?

So I'm putting it out there - would this be something you'd be interested in? Just a morning coffee, maybe a chat if you're up for it, or just sitting quiet if that's more your speed. No pressure, no expectations. Just a bit of peace and quiet in good company.

Because sometimes that's all we need, isn't it? A moment to pause, a decent cup of tea, and the knowledge that it's perfectly alright to just sit and be.

Let me know what you think. Could be onto something here, or could just be the caffeine talking. Either way, my Volvo's probably ready by now.

[If you're interested in morning coffee meetups or want to learn more about our peer support and therapeutic services, drop me a line richard.pierce@truenorthcollective.co.uk. Sometimes the best healing happens over a simple cup of coffee.]

Breaking Barriers: Why Men Should Embrace Therapy and How True North Collective Can Help.

On January 20, 2025, True North Collective (TNC) launches its comprehensive counselling and therapy service, addressing a critical need in mental health support, particularly for men. This launch comes at a time when the disparity in mental health treatment between genders is more apparent than ever.

The Gender Gap in Mental Health Support

In the UK, only 36% of referrals for talking therapies like counselling and psychotherapy are for men (Baker, 2018). This statistic is alarming, especially considering that suicide rates among men are approximately three times higher than women (Office for National Statistics, 2022). The reluctance of men to seek therapy stems from various factors, including societal pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms of self-reliance and emotional control.

Understanding the Barriers

Many men struggle to express emotions, fearing it will lead to a loss of masculine identity (Scholz, Crabb and Wittert, 2017). There's also widespread scepticism about the benefits of therapy, particularly when it involves self-disclosure and introspection (Lynch, Long and Moorhead, 2018). These barriers can lead to severe consequences, with men more likely to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse and risk-taking behaviours (Affleck, Carmichael and Whitley, 2018).

True North Collective's Approach

TNC's new counselling and therapy service aims to break down these barriers. Our programme provides a comprehensive suite of therapeutic and mental health support activities, designed to address individual needs and enhance emotional resilience.

We offer:

• Therapeutic Support: Counselling, listening skills, and communication skills training.

• Specialised Therapies: Innovative approaches like dance elemental therapy, sound healing, and forest bathing.

• Health Management: Understanding chronic pain and stress reduction techniques.

Why Our Approach Works

1. Flexibility: Our programme accommodates ongoing participation and new intakes, allowing men to join at any time and engage in different activities as their needs evolve

2. Diverse Options: We offer alternative formats that may be more appealing to men who are hesitant about traditional face-to-face counselling (Berger et al., 2013).

3. Holistic Support: Our interconnected projects combine mental health support with digital skills training and social activities, providing a comprehensive approach to well-being

4. Safe Space: We create an environment where men can explore their emotions, gain insight into their thought patterns, and develop healthier coping strategies without judgment.

The Benefits of Therapy for Men

Therapy can be a powerful tool for personal growth, self-understanding, and overall well-being. It can help address a wide range of issues, including depression, anxiety, trauma, relationship problems, and low self-esteem (Orlando Health, 2023). By challenging outdated notions of masculinity and promoting open conversations about mental health, we aim to create a more supportive environment for men to prioritise their emotional well-being.

Innovative Approaches to Mental Health

At TNC, we believe in offering a diverse range of therapeutic options to cater to different preferences and needs. Our specialised therapies, such as dance elemental therapy and sound healing, provide unique avenues for self-expression and healing.

These innovative approaches can be particularly appealing to men who may feel uncomfortable with traditional talk therapy.

Community Integration and Long-term Support

Our programme is designed not just for short-term intervention but for long-lasting impact. We emphasise community integration, partnering with local organisations to provide a far-reaching support network.

This approach ensures that participants have access to resources and connections beyond their time in our programme, fostering sustainable well-being and personal growth.

Digital Inclusion and Financial Empowerment

Recognising the interconnected nature of mental health and overall life satisfaction, TNC also offers digital skills training and financial literacy programmes.

These initiatives aim to reduce social and digital isolation, empowering men to manage their finances, pursue career goals, and engage confidently in the digital world. By addressing these practical aspects of life alongside mental health support, we provide a truly holistic approach to well-being.

Join Us in Breaking the Stigma

As we launch our counselling and therapy service on January 20, 2025, we invite men to take the courageous step towards better mental health. At True North Collective, we believe that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Our doors are open to all who wish to embark on a journey of self-discovery and emotional resilience. Remember, it's not just about surviving; it's about thriving. Let's work together to break the silence surrounding men's mental health and build a community where everyone feels empowered to seek the support they need.

References

• Affleck, W., Carmichael, V. and Whitley, R., 2018. Men's Mental Health: Social Determinants and Implications for Services. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 63(9), pp.581-589.

• Baker, C., 2018. Obesity Statistics. House of Commons Library.

• Berger, J.L., Addis, M.E., Green, J.D., Mackowiak, C. and Goldberg, V., 2013. Men's Reactions to Mental Health Labels, Forms of Help-Seeking, and Sources of Help-Seeking Advice. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 14(4), pp.433-443.

• Lynch, L., Long, M. and Moorhead, A., 2018. Young Men, Help-Seeking, and Mental Health Services: Exploring Barriers and Solutions. American Journal of Men's Health, 12(1), pp.126-139.

• Office for National Statistics, 2022. Suicides in England and Wales: 2021 registrations.Orlando Health, 2023. Why Men Don't Go to Therapy. [online] Available at: https://www.orlandohealth.com/content-hub/why-men-dont-go-to-therapy [Accessed 19 January 2025].

• Scholz, B., Crabb, S. and Wittert, G.A., 2017. "Males Don't Wanna Bring Anything up to Their Doctor": Men's Discourses of Depression. Qualitative Health Research, 27(5), pp.727-737.

Blog written and researched by:

Richard Pierce, Director of Counselling and Therapy Services, True North Collective.

Building Stronger Communities Through Men's Wellness

Written By Richard Pierce, Director of Counselling and Therapy Service, True North Collective.

As a BACP Registered Male Counsellor and founder of True North Collective, I've witnessed how supporting men's mental health creates ripples that strengthen entire communities. My journey isn't just a professional one – it's deeply personal, and it's shaped our approach to building spaces where everyone benefits when men embrace wellness.

Finding Our True North

Like many men, my path to wellness wasn't straightforward. Working in a demanding HR role, I embodied what many do: the problem-solver, the one who carries on regardless. It took reaching a breaking point to recognise that true strength lies not in solitude, but in connection and community support.

The Power of Community Connection

At True North Collective, we've created something different. We understand that traditional therapy isn't always the first step men want to take. That's why we've built a community that supports mental health through various pathways:

• Adventure and outdoor activities that challenge and invigorate

• Skill-building workshops that foster personal growth and community engagement

• Social spaces where people can connect, share experiences, and support each other

• Support networks that understand the unique challenges men face while celebrating diversity

Breaking New Ground

Research shows that when men engage with their mental health, it positively impacts their families, workplaces, and communities. At True North Collective, we embrace this ripple effect. Our programs create environments where men can engage with their well-being in ways that feel natural and empowering, leading to stronger relationships and more connected communities.

The True North Difference

Our community stands apart because we understand that nurturing men's mental health strengthens the fabric of society. We recognise that:

• Personal growth leads to more meaningful connections with family and friends

• Emotional awareness enhances leadership at work and in the community

• Supporting men's mental health creates more nurturing environments for everyone

• Wellness isn't just about managing problems – it's about creating positive change that benefits all

Join Our Community

If you're in the Aire and Worth Valley area, True North Collective welcomes you. Based at the Woodville Activity Centre in Keighley, we will be offering various programs and activities designed to support mental health and community connection.

A Vision for the Future

As we grow, our mission remains clear: to create spaces where men can develop emotional awareness and resilience, leading to stronger, more connected communities. Whether you're seeking personal growth, looking to develop new skills, or want to contribute to community well-being, True North Collective is here for you.

Take the First Step

Ready to be part of a community that supports genuine growth while contributing to positive social change? Visit us at True North Collective. Here, you'll find people who understand that when men embrace mental health and emotional well-being, everyone benefits.

Remember, joining our community isn't just about getting support – it's about being part of a movement that recognises how nurturing men's mental health creates more resilient, understanding, and connected communities.

True North Collective is based at the Woodville Activity Centre, Woodville Road, Keighley BD20 6JA, offering a range of activities and support services. For more information about our programs and how to get involved, reach out to us today.