Finding Your Way Through the Fog: A Guide to Mental Health Support

Finding Your Way Through the Fog: A Guide to Mental Health Support

We all experience moments when life feels overwhelming. When the weight of our emotions becomes too heavy to carry alone. When we've lost something significant—whether it's a loved one, a relationship, our sense of purpose, or simply the person we thought we were. In these moments, reaching out for support can feel like the most challenging step of all.

The Barriers We Face

As someone who has been counselling in various capacities since 2010, I've witnessed firsthand the numerous barriers that prevent people from seeking help:

• The perception of weakness: Particularly among men, there's often a damaging belief that acknowledging mental health struggles equates to weakness or failure. At True North Collective, we're actively working to dismantle this myth.

• Accessibility issues: Many simply don't know where to find help or how to navigate the complex web of mental health services available.

• The caregiver's dilemma: When you're constantly looking after others, making time for your own wellbeing can feel impossible or even selfish.

• Scepticism: Will therapy really work? Is it worth the investment of time, money, and emotional energy?

• Trust issues: Opening up about your deepest thoughts and feelings requires immense trust—something that doesn't come easily to many of us.

• Practical constraints: Perhaps you can't access a quiet, confidential space for online therapy sessions, making this option seem impossible.

The irony is that many of us—myself included—can recognise the importance of mental health support for others while struggling to apply the same logic to our own lives.

My Own Journey

Despite having worked at Childline, where I learned to listen non-judgementally and build trust with callers, I didn't apply these principles to my own life for years. I knew the transformative power of being truly heard, yet I resisted seeking that same support for myself.

For the past seven years, I've been in and out of therapy while simultaneously advocating for its benefits to others. This may seem contradictory, but it perfectly illustrates how challenging it can be to take that first step—even when you intellectually understand its value.

Beyond Traditional Therapy

Let's be clear: mental health support isn't solely about accessing formal talking therapies through the NHS or private practitioners like myself. While these services are invaluable, they represent just one pathway among many.

Speaking one-to-one about your deepest thoughts and feelings is hard work. It's exhausting (though please don't let me put you off). Sometimes, as was the case for me, you simply don't know how to begin that process.

The powerful healing that comes from talking and listening can manifest in simpler, everyday interactions:

• Workplace connections: Truly listening to a colleague—not just to their words but to their tone, body language, and any changes in behaviour—can provide crucial support.

• Environmental factors: Have you noticed how conversations flow more easily during car journeys? The driver focuses on the road, the passenger gazes at the scenery, and music plays softly in the background. These natural distractions create a relaxed atmosphere where opening up becomes less daunting.

In contrast, face-to-face encounters, especially with new people or in unfamiliar situations, can make vulnerability feel impossible. This is why at True North Collective, we recognise that supporting mental health isn't about offering just one solution—it's about creating multiple pathways to connection and healing.

The Human Need for Connection

We are, at our core, social creatures. To thrive, we need meaningful connections with others—our "tribe" who may not always agree with us but will listen, accept, and support us nonetheless.

Recently, a former colleague approached me with an idea: offering gym-goers an opportunity to talk after their workout sessions. They wondered if this would be considered "therapeutic" or "counselling," and whether it was a good idea at all.

My answer was simple: letting people know you're available for a chat—that you're willing to listen without judgement—can be profoundly impactful. Even if nine out of ten people never take you up on the offer, knowing the option exists is half the battle.

Small Steps Toward Connection

If you're struggling with your mental health, here are some approaches that might feel more accessible than immediately diving into formal therapy:

1. Start with Physical Movement

Physical activity has well-documented benefits for mental health. At True North Collective, we incorporate movement into many of our support strategies because:

• Exercise releases endorphins, the body's natural mood elevators

• Group activities foster a sense of community without the pressure of direct conversation

• Movement gives you something external to focus on while processing internal emotions

Whether it's a brisk walk, a gym session, or joining one of our outdoor activities, movement creates a foundation for wellbeing.

2. Find Your "Side-by-Side" Moments

Those car journey conversations I mentioned earlier work because they involve "side-by-side" communication—talking while engaged in another activity that reduces the intensity of direct interaction.

Similar opportunities include:

• Walking with a friend

• Cooking together

• Working on a shared project

• Participating in a hobby group

These contexts often allow for deeper conversations to emerge organically, without the pressure of sitting face-to-face expressly to "talk about feelings."

3. Start with Structured Settings

For many—especially those unused to discussing emotional matters—structured environments can provide helpful boundaries:

• Support groups centred around specific experiences or challenges

• Community workshops or classes

• Men's sheds and similar community spaces

• Online forums where you can engage at your own pace

These settings offer built-in topics and activities while still creating space for authentic connection.

4. Practice Basic Emotional Literacy

Sometimes the barrier isn't willingness but vocabulary. Many of us—particularly men who've been discouraged from emotional expression—simply lack the language to articulate what we're feeling.

Start by:

• Identifying basic emotions (anger, sadness, fear, joy)

• Noticing physical sensations that accompany different emotional states

• Using simple scales ("On a scale of 1-10, how stressed am I feeling?")

• Journaling brief notes about your emotional state

This foundation makes it easier to communicate with others when you're ready.

5. Leverage Technology Thoughtfully

While social media can sometimes exacerbate feelings of isolation, technology also offers helpful tools:

• Mental health apps that provide structured exercises

• Text-based support services for those uncomfortable with voice communication

• Online communities focused on specific challenges

• Video resources that normalise common struggles

These resources can serve as stepping stones toward more direct forms of support.

When You're Ready for More

If and when you feel ready to explore more formal support options, know that there's no single "right" approach. At True North Collective, we offer various pathways:

• One-to-one counselling: Traditional talking therapy in a safe, confidential space

• Group support: Shared experiences that reduce isolation

• Activity-based interventions: From wilderness experiences to creative workshops

• Digital support: For those who prefer or require remote options

• Hybrid approaches: Combining different elements to meet your specific needs

The key is finding what resonates with you—what feels manageable as a first step.

For Those Supporting Others

If you're in a position to support someone struggling with their mental health:

• Create low-pressure opportunities for connection: Invite them to join you in activities without making "talking" the explicit purpose

• Practice active listening: Focus fully on what they're saying without immediately jumping to solutions

• Respect boundaries: Some days they may want to talk, other days not—follow their lead

• Normalise getting help: Share your own experiences with support systems when appropriate

• Offer practical assistance: Sometimes helping with everyday tasks creates space for someone to focus on their wellbeing

Remember that simply letting someone know you're there to listen—without expectation or judgement—can be transformative, even if they rarely take you up on the offer.

The Path Forward

Recovery and growth aren't linear processes. There will be steps forward and backward, moments of clarity and periods of fog. What matters is continuing to move, however slowly, toward connection rather than isolation.

At True North Collective, we've seen countless individuals find their way through seemingly impenetrable darkness. Sometimes it begins with something as simple as showing up to a group activity and saying nothing at all. Other times it starts with a formal counselling session. There is no "correct" entry point.

What I can promise you, from both professional experience and personal journey, is that connection heals. Finding spaces and people who allow you to express your authentic self—your fears, your pain, your hopes—creates the conditions for transformation.

Whether you're currently lost in the fog of depression, navigating the choppy waters of anxiety, processing grief, or simply feeling disconnected from yourself and others, know this: you are not alone, seeking support is not weakness, and there are pathways forward that can work for you.

Taking that first step—whatever form it takes for you—is an act of profound courage. And sometimes, courage doesn't roar. Sometimes, it's the quiet voice saying, "I'll try again tomorrow."

We'll be here when you're ready.

About the author: I've been counselling in various capacities since 2010, from Childline to college settings, private practice, and now as part of True North Collective. My journey with mental health has been both professional and deeply personal, informing my belief that healing happens through connection in all its forms.